Wrapping up March

Finally got some new batteries for my camera so I could upload all the pictures I've taken over the past month. Sucker eats batteries like they were Tic-Tacs.

Anyway, did I happen to mention that Sarah brought her new baby over? Well, she did, so Britt met her little half-brother for the first time:



She loves babies; several of her classmates have baby brothers or sisters and she's always asking if Poppa will bring her one. We're kind of, "Um, well, that's being taken care of, you know, from other quarters."



Also, Easter! Britt's finally big enough to hold her own against the bigger cousins, and she did pretty well in the egg-hunt race:







And then there was some sort of ball game:



I'm not sure what the rules were, or if there even were any.



But she had a good time anyway.



Next up, Mikey's turned into a fish fanatic. God help us all.

Defeated, again

This week was spring break at Britt's preschool, so I thought it would be the perfect time to address the issue of potty-training once again.

We went the bare-butt route again, with pull-ups only for bedtime or leaving the house. And she managed to confound me over and over again, by doing her business before I got her pants off in the morning or after I had her dressed for bed. Our sitting-on-the-toilet sessions resulted only in heart-broken sobs and rivers of tears.

Finally, she announced to me, "Pee and poop in the potty is stupid! Bad potty! Bad, bad potty!"

We have gotten exactly nowhere this week.

Excuse me while I go bang my head against a wall.

It's raining

This morning Britt stood in the bay window in the kitchen, looking out at our sodden backyard as she sang, "Rain, rain, go away..."

When I walked into the kitchen, she turned around and cried, "It's not working!"

K is for Kangaroo

We went to Britt's class at the zoo today and learned about kangaroos. At craft time, Britt successfully pasted a pouch onto a kangaroo cutout, and slipped the little joey inside it. She was doing great until the girl sitting next to her ripped one of her kangaroo's arms so her dad told her she'd have to rip the other arm to match. So Britt followed the other's kid's dad's instructions and ripped the arms off her own kangaroo.

(***sigh***)



Anyway, the kangaroos are at the very furthest corner of the zoo, so we wandered off to do our own thing instead of following the rest of the class down there. Britt wanted to ride the tram, but it would've cost $3 for me and $2 for her and I only had a ten on me and that was our lunch money, so we watched the ducks and geese for awhile and then we walked in a different direction than we normally do and found -- Holy cow! -- a humongous playground! How long has that been there?

Britt got to swing



and slide



and climb



and walk across crazy rubbery thingys



and climb ladders



and ponder the universe. Or something. I dunno what she was doing here.



And then we got lunch and went home, because that was enough excitement for one day.

More excitement tomorrow: Britt's scheduled to meet her baby brother for the first time ever.

(Not) All Thumbs

I was looking at Britt's Easter pictures, trying to decide which ones to order, when I noticed her thumb looking freakishly, enormously huge. Like, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues huge.



But her thumbs are not huge! They are perfectly normal, very cute little thumbs. See?



That's the same thumb. Totally normal. And you can sorta see the other thumb here:



It's completely normal, too.

So, I dunno what happened. Some kind of optical illusion, I guess.

An early Easter treat

Got the proofs of Britt's Easter pictures already, but they're not as good as her regular school pictures were. Her hair looks like crap, but I really worked on it that morning so I don't know what happened.



I felt sorry for the poor bunny, being manhandled by all those kids all day long.



This is Britt's patented for-the-camera grin:



And she's got the Sarah lip here, so this one's definitely not my favorite:



There were two more, but they're worse than these. It's kind of a relief, though, because we won't be spending as much money as we did on the last set. And that's good, because they're already hitting us up for registration fees and first month's tuition for the summer and fall sessions.

Gratuitous Photo Post

I realized that I haven't posted any pictures of Britt since Christmas so I've been chasing her around with the camera trying to get some good ones. She kept making faces or ducking or turning her head so, out of about 25 shots, I only got a couple of good ones (plz ignore chocolate muffin crumbs):



I cut some long layers in her hair and it looks much better; it's less tangly, too. The mullet hasn't grown out yet, so we're still doing the ponytails.



Britt says Hi! No, not really -- she was trying to hide her face and I caught her when she peeked.



This triker chick was riding around in circles in the kitchen, stopping every few seconds to bang on the bongo drum slung over her shoulder.

She got her picture taken with the Easter bunny at school today -- literally, a real live rabbit -- so that'll be another super expensive photo package I can't not buy. I'll post the proofs when I get them.

Well, it's a good thing

that I still have:

the crib, sheets, blankets and bumper pads
the bluebird cribside music box
the dresser/changing table
the toile bassinet
the car seat/stroller combo
the bouncy/vibrating chair
the aquarium-themed swing (that Britt broke but maybe can be fixed)
the baby monitor
tons of little bitty socks
bags of bottles
loads of toys, rattles and teethers
etc.

because, in case you haven't heard, Bob's going to be needing them.

Well, there's a 50/50 chance he won't need the toile bassinet, which is pink. There's also a 50/50 chance that I'll be kicking myself for giving away most of Britt's frilly little baby togs.

I'll have to go dig in the garage to see what else I've still got.

She's a Trip

Britt's been doing "magic trips" for me. She waves her magic wand (actually a pair of yellow sunglasses) and says the magic words (Dibby-dooby-doo!) and then she pulls an invisible rabbit out of a hat. For which she receives tremendous applause, of course.

She emptied her little red doctor's kit and filled it with books, and proudly announced that it was her bookcase.

I walked into the kitchen and found her hopping across all my potholders laid out on the floor, going, "Ribbit! Ribbit!" She told me they were her frog pads. When I sat down nearby to gather up some other toys, she hollered, "Uh-oh! The water's getting you!"

Also, she's been chasing the cat around with a belt looped around on itself through the buckle; she calls it her cowboy rope. Oh, well, better the cat than me.

Crap! Crap! Crap!

Mikey's birthday is tomorrow. It always sneaks up on me.

Crap!

One-Girl Wrecking Crew

I still keep the baby gate across the doorway to my office because it's the only way I can keep my books and papers and photos from becoming part of the daily debris field left in the wake of the Short Tornado.

This morning, I discovered the baby gate partially dismantled. There were two metal brackets, one screw and a Phillips screwdriver on the floor.

She's starting to scare me.

Oh, yeah. I have a blog.

Right. Well, um, not much going on lately, really...

Britt had the golden squirts for a week after Christmas, much like the Shitstorm of 2007. Lots of stuff running down the leg and contaminated bedding and clothing changes and whatnot. I'm so glad that's over.

Now she has a rash, on her left side and chest and a little bit on her arm. I freaked at first, thinking chicken pox, but she's been vaccinated for that. Besides, it would've been all over her by now and it's receding instead. I think it's from soap that didn't get washed off in the bath. She loves soaping up; rinsing, not so much.

She started back to school on Tuesday, and we're signed up for a fresh round of zoo and art classes. First up: "J is for Jaguar!" on Saturday.

I haven't used my new crock pot or mixing bowls yet, but one of my gorgeous new glasses got chipped already and Mikey tossed it out. Oh, and I got $50 worth of iTunes gift cards for Christmas too, but, well, um, I sort of don't need them now. That's all I'm sayin' about that.

Mikey was complaining the other day that I never make my super-fabulous chicken pot pie or lasagna anymore and I was all, "Dude! That's a three-hour process!" and he was all pouty and shit, so I tried to make the chicken pot pie today, but I think I loaned the cookbook that has the recipe to Sherri, so I had to wing it. And, um, Sher? I need that recipe. Call me.

How does she know that?

One of Britt's stocking stuffers was a set of animal pictures for her Viewmaster. She popped one in, took a look and said, "Ooh! A puma!"

How the hell does she know what a puma is?

While I was getting ready to go Christmas shopping, we were looking through sale papers together when she pointed at a picture and correctly identified a telescope.

When we were getting into the car, she pointed up to the sky and said, "Look! Seagulls!" Sure enough, we occasionally do see seagulls around here, presumably because of the nearby lake.

Tonight I played catch with her; she used her fuzzy pink purse as a baseball "gwub" and, when she was throwing to me, she'd swing her arm around like she was winding up for a pitch.

We were watching Tom & Jerry flying to Mars when they passed through an asteroid field. Britt pointed and yelled, "Meteors!" While technically incorrect, it was close enough that I was impressed.

Say what you will about kids watching too much TV, none of this stuff has been covered in any of the books I've read to her, and none of it is stuff I would have thought to teach her yet. I don't know how else she would have picked it up.

She's just astounding us left and right lately.

Is it...? Is it over yet?

It is? Oh, good. Me and Christmas don't always get along that well.

This year wasn't too bad, though. I had my own car and got to do my own shopping. Plus I wasn't wracked by depression, which helped a lot.

Anyway, guess what?

Mama's got a brand new bag!

And new mixing bowls!

Also, some lovely new glassware, because Mikey carries all our glasses off to the store with his morning Coke fix and they never come back; these are not allowed to leave the house.

And a crock pot, finally. Mikey's not thrilled about that because he thinks he's gonna be eating overcooked goop from now on, but I'm totally excited about a whole new world of easy cooking possibilities. Because if there's one thing I hate worse than Christmas, it's cooking.

Plus, I got this so I can play with this (because it's not Mac-compatible).

Britt had a great Christmas. Or five. By the time she opened her gifts from us on Christmas morning, she was kind of burned out on the whole thing; she wandered off in the middle of it to play with her Play-Dough. Her mother brought a bunch of stuff over on Friday, her other grandpa's package arrived on Saturday, and we saw her dad on Sunday, so by Tuesday the seemingly endless flood of gifts was kind of like, eh, whatever.

Now we just need a bigger house to hold all her stuff.

So damn crafty

Hey! Looky what I did:



Britt's preschool is having a Christmas party tomorrow, so I had to sign up to bring something. Napkins and plastic forks were already spoken for, dammit, so I'm bringing something I made with my own two hands to show everybody up.

Can you tell what they are? Don't laugh now. You try sitting down with a bag of Lifesavers and see what you can make out of 'em. From left to right, there's a candy cane, a Christmas tree, a bunch of grapes (I said don't laugh), a wreath, a Christmas stocking, and a cross (it is a Christian preschool, you know).

Yes, I know the cross looks like C3PO and R2D2 had a bastard child. Shut up.

My Little Cupcake

We went to the Christmas Cupcake Party at the zoo last Saturday, where Britt got to decorate her own cupcake.



There was a little technical difficulty,



but she finally got it done to her satisfaction,



and then she ate it.



And it was good!



There were also Christmas crafts, which were a little too old for her, so she mostly just cut up paper.



And then, chinchilla time! Britt asserted her way into the front row



so she could be first to pet it.



And then



it was time to meet The Man:



How sweet is this?

A bloody fright

So, last Tuesday, Britt came home after school and we were puttering around the house until it was time to go to a(nother) classmate's birthday party.

I was in the living room when I heard the thump.

Britt came in wailing hysterically, so I scooped her up and checked her over for blood or broken bones but couldn't see anything wrong. I asked what was hurt and she indicated her bottom, so I sat and rocked her until the crying subsided and she hopped off to go play.

And then I saw the blood all over my shirt.

Obviously, my injury-checking skills suck. I had checked all over her front, but not her back, and that's why I missed the fact that blood was gushing out of the back of her head. I wiped some of it off to find where it was coming from, which turned out to be a gnarly one-inch gash. And then I flipped smooth out very quietly so I wouldn't scare her.

Before heading off to the minor emergency clinic, I asked her to show me what she hit her head on. You know where our entry hall takes a right-hand turn into the living room? Well, the wooden wainscot forms a pretty sharp corner there and, through some combination of stocking feet, glazed tile floor and careening about like a hyperactive monkey, she apparently managed to fall backward against it.

So we went to the clinic and she was very brave. The doctor put a topical anesthetic on it first, then cleaned out the wound before putting four staples in it (instead of stitches so he wouldn't have to cut any hair), and she didn't even whimper until the last staple was going in.

She got her staples removed this afternoon. When Mikey came home from work, she ran to the door yelling, "Poppa! Poppa! I got my simples out!"

That's my hard-headed girl.

Staples, Santa, and Slickery Shit

I've neglected the blog something awful lately while spending all my computer time on GoodReads -- but I get a lot more love over there than I do here, so what do you expect? Jeez!

Anyway, we're in the midst of an ice storm right now and the worst power outage in state history but, by some miracle, we're warm and toasty here at the ranch. The trees aren't doing so well, though:



The branch on the upper left was hanging ominously over my car, so Bridgie helped me chip ice off the door until we got it open, and then directed me (since I couldn't see a damn thing) while I backed down to the street and then pulled in to the other side of the driveway. A good thing, too, since that branch is now lying in my former parking space and I could be minus a windshield right now.

Also, the big branch on the right has broken off and is lying on the ground. At this rate, that big beautiful tree won't be much more than a stump by the time things thaw out.

The back yard is a winter wonderland, though,



except that my poor crepe myrtles are nearly prostrate.



Anyway, enough of that. I'm getting a chill.

I haven't told you about the staples yet, which is a horror story involving lots of blood, but that deserves a post of its own. I'll try to get to it tomorrow.

Also, I still have to tell you about this:

Wearable Art

Mikey finally succumbed to Britt's incessant pleas for some markers of her very own. Thankfully, they're washable markers because:



Now I get free mani-pedis and the occasional henna tattoo:



Oh, wait -- are henna tattoos red or brown? Well, no matter. I've got red and brown. And yellow!

*****

Little Miss Sticky Fingers got hold of my camera, which is why this shot has such a lovely soft focus:



The lens is clean now, but the outer protective shutter keeps sticking shut no matter what I do. Shit, hell and damn on that.

Britt's school pictures

We only have proofs right now so the image quality is awful, but here's a sneak peek:







We're trying to decide which how many of which poses to order, because they're frickin' expensive! And they make you order a whole package of one pose before you can order any individual sheets. Fuckers.