How does she know that?

One of Britt's stocking stuffers was a set of animal pictures for her Viewmaster. She popped one in, took a look and said, "Ooh! A puma!"

How the hell does she know what a puma is?

While I was getting ready to go Christmas shopping, we were looking through sale papers together when she pointed at a picture and correctly identified a telescope.

When we were getting into the car, she pointed up to the sky and said, "Look! Seagulls!" Sure enough, we occasionally do see seagulls around here, presumably because of the nearby lake.

Tonight I played catch with her; she used her fuzzy pink purse as a baseball "gwub" and, when she was throwing to me, she'd swing her arm around like she was winding up for a pitch.

We were watching Tom & Jerry flying to Mars when they passed through an asteroid field. Britt pointed and yelled, "Meteors!" While technically incorrect, it was close enough that I was impressed.

Say what you will about kids watching too much TV, none of this stuff has been covered in any of the books I've read to her, and none of it is stuff I would have thought to teach her yet. I don't know how else she would have picked it up.

She's just astounding us left and right lately.

Is it...? Is it over yet?

It is? Oh, good. Me and Christmas don't always get along that well.

This year wasn't too bad, though. I had my own car and got to do my own shopping. Plus I wasn't wracked by depression, which helped a lot.

Anyway, guess what?

Mama's got a brand new bag!

And new mixing bowls!

Also, some lovely new glassware, because Mikey carries all our glasses off to the store with his morning Coke fix and they never come back; these are not allowed to leave the house.

And a crock pot, finally. Mikey's not thrilled about that because he thinks he's gonna be eating overcooked goop from now on, but I'm totally excited about a whole new world of easy cooking possibilities. Because if there's one thing I hate worse than Christmas, it's cooking.

Plus, I got this so I can play with this (because it's not Mac-compatible).

Britt had a great Christmas. Or five. By the time she opened her gifts from us on Christmas morning, she was kind of burned out on the whole thing; she wandered off in the middle of it to play with her Play-Dough. Her mother brought a bunch of stuff over on Friday, her other grandpa's package arrived on Saturday, and we saw her dad on Sunday, so by Tuesday the seemingly endless flood of gifts was kind of like, eh, whatever.

Now we just need a bigger house to hold all her stuff.

So damn crafty

Hey! Looky what I did:



Britt's preschool is having a Christmas party tomorrow, so I had to sign up to bring something. Napkins and plastic forks were already spoken for, dammit, so I'm bringing something I made with my own two hands to show everybody up.

Can you tell what they are? Don't laugh now. You try sitting down with a bag of Lifesavers and see what you can make out of 'em. From left to right, there's a candy cane, a Christmas tree, a bunch of grapes (I said don't laugh), a wreath, a Christmas stocking, and a cross (it is a Christian preschool, you know).

Yes, I know the cross looks like C3PO and R2D2 had a bastard child. Shut up.

My Little Cupcake

We went to the Christmas Cupcake Party at the zoo last Saturday, where Britt got to decorate her own cupcake.



There was a little technical difficulty,



but she finally got it done to her satisfaction,



and then she ate it.



And it was good!



There were also Christmas crafts, which were a little too old for her, so she mostly just cut up paper.



And then, chinchilla time! Britt asserted her way into the front row



so she could be first to pet it.



And then



it was time to meet The Man:



How sweet is this?

A bloody fright

So, last Tuesday, Britt came home after school and we were puttering around the house until it was time to go to a(nother) classmate's birthday party.

I was in the living room when I heard the thump.

Britt came in wailing hysterically, so I scooped her up and checked her over for blood or broken bones but couldn't see anything wrong. I asked what was hurt and she indicated her bottom, so I sat and rocked her until the crying subsided and she hopped off to go play.

And then I saw the blood all over my shirt.

Obviously, my injury-checking skills suck. I had checked all over her front, but not her back, and that's why I missed the fact that blood was gushing out of the back of her head. I wiped some of it off to find where it was coming from, which turned out to be a gnarly one-inch gash. And then I flipped smooth out very quietly so I wouldn't scare her.

Before heading off to the minor emergency clinic, I asked her to show me what she hit her head on. You know where our entry hall takes a right-hand turn into the living room? Well, the wooden wainscot forms a pretty sharp corner there and, through some combination of stocking feet, glazed tile floor and careening about like a hyperactive monkey, she apparently managed to fall backward against it.

So we went to the clinic and she was very brave. The doctor put a topical anesthetic on it first, then cleaned out the wound before putting four staples in it (instead of stitches so he wouldn't have to cut any hair), and she didn't even whimper until the last staple was going in.

She got her staples removed this afternoon. When Mikey came home from work, she ran to the door yelling, "Poppa! Poppa! I got my simples out!"

That's my hard-headed girl.

Staples, Santa, and Slickery Shit

I've neglected the blog something awful lately while spending all my computer time on GoodReads -- but I get a lot more love over there than I do here, so what do you expect? Jeez!

Anyway, we're in the midst of an ice storm right now and the worst power outage in state history but, by some miracle, we're warm and toasty here at the ranch. The trees aren't doing so well, though:



The branch on the upper left was hanging ominously over my car, so Bridgie helped me chip ice off the door until we got it open, and then directed me (since I couldn't see a damn thing) while I backed down to the street and then pulled in to the other side of the driveway. A good thing, too, since that branch is now lying in my former parking space and I could be minus a windshield right now.

Also, the big branch on the right has broken off and is lying on the ground. At this rate, that big beautiful tree won't be much more than a stump by the time things thaw out.

The back yard is a winter wonderland, though,



except that my poor crepe myrtles are nearly prostrate.



Anyway, enough of that. I'm getting a chill.

I haven't told you about the staples yet, which is a horror story involving lots of blood, but that deserves a post of its own. I'll try to get to it tomorrow.

Also, I still have to tell you about this: