Fifteen years of (mostly) bliss

Mikey and I celebrated the 15th anniversary of our first date yesterday, which also happened to be our 11th wedding anniversary.

The three of us went out for insanely expensive steak dinner at the Deep Fork and, on the way home, Mikey groaned that his belly was too full. "Me, too," I said. Then, from the back seat, piped up a sweet little voice, "Me, three!" Which is not ordinarily all that funny, but it was the first time we'd ever heard Britt say it, and in proper context, too! So, we died.

Back at home, we cracked open our semi-annual bottle of Moët and Britt toasted us with chocolate milk. And then she demanded that we show her how to do armpit farts. Unfortunately, neither Mikey nor I ever mastered that particular skill so, after much flailing about like broken-winged chickens, we decided that her daddy will have to be the one to teach her.

And that's how we spent our anniversary. Nothing terribly exciting, but we had fun.

What a trip

We're going on vacation! Finally!

Our long-planned trip to Chicago has been somewhat abbreviated, though. You know, gas prices and all that. Whatever.

Anyway, we're going to...

(drumroll, please)

Branson.

Yee-hawwww!!!

Yeah, I know. Cornball City. But we haven't had a vacation since Britt was born, so I'm excited to be going anywhere. If Branson is the best I can get, I'll take it. Britt's really excited, too, but she still doesn't have a good grasp on the concept of time. She thinks we're going on "bacation" today, right now, "in two minutes!" (holding up two fingers).

Mostly we'll be taking Britt to Silver Dollar City and Celebration City on a three-day City Hopper pass. Mikey found a Beatles tribute show that's supposed to be really good. And there's a zoo up the road at Springfield and a drive-through wildlife park somewhere around there. Hopefully, that will be enough keep us busy, because there isn't a whole lot else I could find that sounds very interesting.

Of course, Mikey won't agree to take a full seven days off because the store just can't do without him, but I did manage to bump him up from three days to four. I'm still working on him for five.

The biggest problem, though, is that his OCD is off the charts right now. He's having serious cleanliness issues. If you haven't been around him in a while, you'd be amazed. My nightmare is that we'll get to our hotel room and Mikey will take a look around and refuse to stay there. And then we'll have to find someplace else to go and lose our deposit and all that crap. And no guarantee that anyplace else will be clean enough either. He says he's been worried about that, too, so I've been studying hotel reviews for the past two days, trying to find a place that's clean enough to suit him.

Restaurants are a problem, too. We took Cathy and Mom to Outback the night before Cathy's knee surgery because that's where she wanted to go. The booth they seated us at had rice on the seat, so he made us get up and go to a different restaurant. It was really embarrassing. And one night, he went out to get us some Sonic burgers and came back with McDonald's instead. The next morning, I was putting Britt in her carseat in the back of his car when I found a bag full of Sonic food. He said he'd studied the cook staff through the window while he was waiting for the food and decided there was no way he could let us eat it.

So, this trip could either be a lot of fun or it could be an agonizing ordeal. The betting pool opens now.

Unless he backs out on me again, and then all bets are off.

Pint-Sized 'Puter Whiz

Britt's a hardcore gamer. Already. At age 3.



It all started with Elmo's Potty Time. Now she plays games on all her favorite TV stations' websites: Noggin, Playhouse Disney, Sprout. Also, she likes watching videos on You-Tube; her favorites are this cat taking a dump on the toilet and Kitty Say What? And tonight I walked in on her while she was watching a video and singing along to "Who Let the Dogs Out?"

She doesn't even bother to ask if she can play on the computer anymore. She just takes down the safety gate that's supposed to keep her out of my office (it's hardly even a psychological barrier at this point) and hops right on. When things get too quiet, I always know where to find her.

And do you see what she's doing here?



She navigating bookmarks! All her games and favorites videos are in her own bookmark file and she can pull up whatever she wants without any help from us.

Next thing you know, she'll be starting her own blog.

How to "Patch" Like a Baby Bird

First, you have to crack the egg:



Then you make a big enough hole for your body to come out:



And then you yell at Mommy to bring you some worms to eat: